Fine tuning

What is the answer to stay away from the hierarchical tyranny in the Catholic Church? It think for me it is that I must pray more. If you grow up with nothing, you somehow become a fighter to survive. It is not necessary any longer and I am not out for the kill but I have a hard time not responding when I feel I am being used as a doormat. Mother once observed that if you give me an entry, I have a tendency to run with it. So, if you give me an entry and show me how stupid you are, I will respond quickly. Most likely, way too quickly. A lot of times I see disaster coming and I can avoid a collision. What happens if a fender bender turns ultimately into a train wreck? I was not prepared for this. Breath deeply, pray more, enjoy the wonderful life God gave you and don't look back or you will fossilize like Lot's wife.