Dear Heloise -
I have this empty helmet Helmut under my bed. Do you have any ideas how to recycle helmets? Can I make a cannon ball out of it and will it reach my enemies during lunch? That would be a great strike! Bang! Ka-plunk, all would be gone! Death by helmet. Oh, yeah, and what flowers would look good on their graves? Shades of morbid pink?
Yours,
Dilly

Dear Dilly,
The question about what to do with an empty helmet is a dilly! Even, though I love the name HELMUT for a helmet, I say, turn it into a bed pan, laced with sequins that plays music, such as "Don't Fence Me In"!

IF you throw HELMUT at your enemies during lunch, not only do you ruin your lunch BUT then you have to be responsible for head injuries! YECH! Of course, if HELMUT was even remotely full, even as a bed pan, then you'd be responsible for taking all the "bathrobes" to the cleaners! P.U.! And, as long as everyone is alive, although NOT well, you don't have to make umpteen trips to the florist for those morbid pink, purple and chartreuse flowers for their funerals!

I say, keep HELMUT at home and decorate the helmet any way you wish ---- like with biblical DVDs for instance --- and then use it for a bowl for fireworks on the 4th of July!

Any more wrongs I can right?
Heloise