If you were born between 3:05 and 3:07 on Friday, July 11, you will probably have a birthday today. Don't bet on it, however.
If the gas price goes further up today, you are favored to buy a scooter and fall off on day 2 because the fumes will make you drowsy. The constellations will come together as wonderful stars right before you eyes as you bang your head against the asphalt. Wear a mask (chic-y-chic-y) or a dog muzzle stuffed with Kleenex (cheap) to escape fumes and flying insects in and into your mouth.
NOTE: This is a social horoscope. Not approved by Chucky. Don't leave any flyers at the Church of the Multiple Flags.
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