The particle Accelerator

The particle accelerator is in the news again. We are trying to find out how the Big Bang occured. What were the particles that were there BEFORE the Big Bang? For this we are spending billions, billions. I checked with my science advisor who told me that everyone knows that the Big Bang occurred because of exploding Sauerkraut. Those were the particles that caused the Big Bang. There.....now you know the scientific facts.