Letter from my Congressman

I got this wonderful e-mail letter from my Congressman that he wants to redirect the spending on health care. While everything is going up, physicians are seeing a cut in Medicare reimbursements. Trickle down effect. HMO presidents make millions of dollars and the physician treating the patient gets the leftover pennies. People will be steered into more "health care savings accounts." That's like telling people: Here are a few books and when you are finished reading we will give you your Ph.D. Our whole health care system is pretty demented. It works on the premise that one negotiates health care like buying a car at Carmax or a few carrots at New Foods. Needless to say that the Congressmen do not buy into this for themselves. Oh, they have wonderful, cheap health insurance. Everything is paid for with our tax dollar. No savings plan there!

Talk

I finished my talks on prayer last night. There is still this confusion about centering prayer. It is mostly from the very devout or devoid types. They have heard things that are seem to be half truths and they run with it as though it were the gospel truth.

Getting started

Have a piece of bread with cheese (hmmm), have a cup of coffee (hmmmmm), take medicine (sigh), have another piece of bread with cheese (hmmm), have another cup of coffee (hmmmm), read the newspaper....

There is always a reason

Our new branch manager had to play cards because he is going on vacation and will be staying with relatives who like to play cards. So he had to learn quickly because he did not want to look stupid. Aha.....it all makes sense now. Mrs. Fritchley obliged. Apparently she also flew to see Mr. Seligman recently for lunch in Zurich, Switzerland. I guess he needed some help rolling cheese off the mountain. If it is beds or chocolate or cheese, Mrs. Fritchley is indeed helpful. This morning our new branch manger went with all the mice to the Atlanta mouse factory. He enjoyed himself which is good. I think the mice liked that. I finished giving a lecture at the Church of the Crucified tonight. They invited me to be part of their RCIA program. I told them I would lecture one or two evenings in September.

Odds and ends

Our new branch manager likes to play cards. He and Mrs. Fritchley played in the office together. Every time I think about it I just have to laugh. I went to a development conference recently and I think he could have cared less. He is not saying anything negative but it revealing enough that he is not saying anything positive either. I loved the conference and will develop myself again next year. I tweaked Chucky a little today. Invited him to serve on the Executive Board of the Catholic Church of the Catacombs. I got one of those "I am away from my desk automated messages." I guess he needed a vacation. I have lots of paperwork that piled up and I am not very motivated to do anything today. The pond in our area has dried up and New Jerusalem isn't all that interested to get her feet wet or muddy any longer because there are no frogs to chase. Gladiola gave her a bath yesterday. She did smell good in bed last night but I did not know she had been bathed. Next week I will be in Togetherland. I am flying. Will be doing some work for my hood friends.

My friend Hermione

My friend Hermione published the diaries of Eve on her blog. As I read it, I was not sure if Eve got sick from the berries she had for breakfast the day she and Adam left the Garden of Eden or was it already morning sickness? Did the breakfast berries come from Mexico? God's wrath from Mexico? I always thought it was revenge but now my eyes have been opened and I see it was God's wrath and not revenge. Poor Eve!

The Diaries of Eve

My friend, Hermione, found Eve's diaries in a cave in her back yard. We know they are the originals because the writings are on fig leaves. She thinks the fall was THE sex act. In other words, the apple went straight from the throat into the belly, lodged there and grew. If God can make humans from nothing, he certainly can make them from little green apples. God wanted them to wait to have sex and they, to nobody's surprise, took it into their own hands. Oh well! Abraham did not learn either and took a mistress, when one could still have a mistress, but that comes later. So now you know it: illicit sex, according to my friend Hermione.

Back in town

Well folks I just returned from Steubentown. It was fun but I had a very hectic schedule. Classes every day from 8 in the morning to 9 at night. Time for Mass and three meals a day but that was it. And they were square meals. A lot of casseroles and breaded stuff. I always prefer breakfast. Not too much can go wrong with scrambled eggs and toast. Anyway I am catechized up to my gills or eyebrows and listened to lots of good biblical lectures. Now I am wondering if Adam and Eve had sex before the fall. Was she pregnant when they "fell?" Was there death planned before the fall? Would there have been death? The bible is strangely silent about sex and death before the fall. Plenty after the fall. Why did the animals have to leave paradise? God did not create any new ones. Well, food for thought.

While I am gone

Pray for the Holy Spirit to enlighten all of us. This is a prayer that is ALWAYS heard and ANSWERED.

Leaving town

I am driving to Switzerland tomorrow. Checking out the cheese. Dropped a few books into a bag: The bible, Jewish history and a few others, plus the computer and a lot of Catholic DVDs. When I am supposed to watch them I do not know. However, I just take these things along as a security blanket. The prayer lessons went well, I think. Finished today with the morning group. I have to say I like this stuff although there is misunderstanding among the folks when it comes to centering prayer. Lord help me that I don't confuse the people more. Some people think that with centering prayer, one is open to the demonic. Years ago, my father told me never to get hypnotized in a carnival show. I guess when he was a little boy, people came around and did that. I can see now why and think it is stupid to have someone be in control of your altered state of mind whom you don't know. Evil could enter. However, later in life I met a wonderful Jewish Anesthesiologist who used hypnosis to facilitate pain free natural childbirth. I never needed his services but I would have trusted him and would have seen no harm in that. So it depends: How is it used and what is it used for?

The new computer

I had trouble with my new computer today. I had purchased an Mac pro in December and it is an awesome machine. However, the nun in our office needed a new computer and recently I gave it away. I purchased an Air Mac. It is a toy. Go for the Mac pro, and leave the Air Mac at the store. On top of it, Best Buy did a sloppy installation and so I took it back today and had to leave it for a couple of hours in their computer first aid station. I want to take it on the road on Wednesday. On the Mac pro I could type; on the Air Mac I mistype a lot which means the keyboard is too flimsy for me.

Finding a priest for a funeral

My friend's sister's father-in-law died. The friend, the nun, is Catholic, the sister is a lapsed Catholic and the father-in-law was some other supplemental vitamin. However, the sister would like to have a priest do the honors at the (graveside) funeral and we are trying to get a priest to do the funeral. So far zero. My friend's priest, the Big Herod, has not called back. He probably has not enough coins on him to use a pay phone. My own priest has an almost dead uncle and might have to leave town any minute. A hood priest friend from the black and white hoods said it was disrespectful to the dead to send him a Catholic priest if the dead person was not Catholic. It might be disrespectful to the dead but what if the living want a Catholic priest? We don't really know WHAT the dead person was. As as along as the dead man was not a rabid anti-Catholic, I don't see a problem with a Catholic priest at the funeral. The dead person might have enjoyed a Catholic priest very much.

Whatever and more

Went to Mass this morning. Our new priest arrives at 8:29, vests and at 8:30 a.m. sharp we start. Pretty laid back: "Whatever." Big change but I like him. Saw one of those car transport vehicles on the way home. Top row filled with black SUVs. They looked like hearses and I thought: who will buy these now? Had breakfast at the Diner. Had one of those couples right in front and in the next booth who were all over each other. Difficult to enjoy breakfast. The Diner is not a honeymoon suite or so I thought until now. Other people started to watch as well. One could not help it. Cable man was at home. Got all the TVs fixed so Gladiola can watch all her shows while I am gone. She can even watch the TV again from bed! Somehow it conked out last time she stayed here while I was gone and I never got it fixed but she reminded me. Off to get my computer serviced. I don't think they installed all the programs they were supposed to install. Wednesday morning I will head into the wild and to Steubendorf. They have quicky programs and I will come back as a freshly ordained Catholic priest. Just kidding, just kidding, Chucky. No reason to excommunicate me yet. I know the Big Herod would love it. One more lecture on prayer at the Church of the Crucified. The Wednesday night people have to wait until I get back. It has been fun. The nun's family came in from Casinotown. They will be here for a month and I will be seeing very little of her but I am going out of town myself so we both will be occupied.

Chucky's homily

Chucky gave a homily today but not based on historical facts. So here it is:
I like nice stories but I like historical accuracy more.

This is from the official Churchill internet site.

"Sir Alexander Fleming Twice Saved Churchill's Life"
The Churchill-Fleming Non-Connection: The story that Sir Alexander Fleming or his father (the renditions vary) saved Churchill’s life has been roaring around the Internet lately. We must have had fifty emails about it. Charming as it is, it is certainly fiction. The story apparently originated in Worship Programs for Juniors, by Alice A. Bays and Elizabeth Jones Oakberg, published ca. 1950 by an American religious house, in a chapter entitled "The Power of Kindness."
According to Bays/Oakbery, Churchill is saved from drowning in a Scottish lake by a farm boy named Alex. A few years later Churchill telephones Alex to say that his parents, in gratitude, will sponsor Alex’s otherwise unaffordable medical school education. Alex graduates with honours and in 1928 discovers that certain bacteria cannot grow in certain vegetable molds. In 1943 when Churchill becomes ill in the Near East, Alex’s invention, penicillin, is flown out to effect his cure. Thus once again Alexander Fleming saves the life of Winston Churchill.
Dr. John Mather writes: "A fundamental problem with the story is that Churchill was treated for this very serious strain of pneumonia not with penicillin but with ‘M&B,’ a short name for sulfadiazine produced by May and Baker Pharmaceuticals. Since he was so ill, it was probably a bacterial rather than a viral infection as the M&B was successful.
"Kay Halle, in her charming book Irrepressible Churchill (Cleveland: World 1966) comments (p. 196) that Churchill ‘delighted in referring to his doctors, Lord Moran and Dr. Bedford, as M&B.’ Then, when Churchill found that the most agreeable way of taking the drug was with whisky or brandy, he commented to his nurse: ‘Dear nurse, pray remember that man cannot live by M and B alone.’ But there is no evidence in the record that he received penicillin for any of his wartime pneumonias. He did have infections in later life, and I suspect he was given penicillin or some other antibiotic that would have by then become available, such as ampicillin. Also, Churchill did consult with Sir Alexander Fleming on 27 June 1946 about a staphylococcal infection which had apparently resisted penicillin. See Churchill: Taken from the Diaries of Lord Moran (Boston: Houghton Muffin 1966), p. 335."
Official biographer Sir Martin Gilbert adds that the ages of Churchill and Fleming (or Fleming’s father) do not support the various accounts circulated; Alexander Fleming was seven years younger than Churchill. If he was plowing a field at say age 13, Churchill would have been 20. There is no record of Churchill nearly drowning in Scotland at that or any other age; or of Lord Randolph paying for Alexander Fleming’s education. Sir Martin also notes that Lord Moran’s diaries, while mentioning "M&B," say nothing about penicillin, or the need to fly it out to Churchill in the Near East.

A long day

This morning I first went to the Church of the Multiple Flags because a friend of mine received a reward. One of Big Herod's office people was there patrolling the narthex and I greeted a lot of my friends and told them that I was invited by the family and also invited to sit with them. I think the narthex patrol got the word at some point. Another friend had told me that the choir was lame and I thought she just does not like traditional music but I had to agree, the choir was very lame. It could have been a funeral for the friend instead of a festive occasion. Not only that, but during one of the songs, there came a tambourine sound from the back of the church into the mix. Really weird. Before Mass started, the Big Herod came out at one point, saw me, and from then on made a big detour around me even to the point so he would not have to give communion out on my side which I appreciated. I received communion from the Deacon. The other side received communion from Chucky. Chucky gave the homily. After Mass, I said "hello" to a lot of friends and predictably some people barely acknowledged me or made a detour around me. However, the majority was just happy to see me as I was happy to see them. It is funny to watch what people do. I said "hello" to Chucky and he greeted me by my first name. Yeah, we are on first name basis. Went to the reception. Again, the Big Herod made a big detour and I think a lot of people were surprised to see me and it was quite obvious that I was invited. After an hour or so I said good-by because I had a staff meeting. I missed the actual meeting - too late - but went to the Big Whale Restaurant and waited for everyone there for the after staff meeting. Had more appetizers there and it was nice to be in familiar surroundings again. Thought that our music is so much better for contemporary music and also the music in Mr. Seligman's temple is wonderful for traditional music. I told our cantor. Oh yes, I noticed the sign for the ongoing campaign for the expansion at the Multiple Flags Church. The Big Herod is not transparent with money. Same old, same old. He is hiding 3.5 mill that he has in a different account. He actually got 7 mill. 3.5 are from a previous campaign but he only is telling people what he has collected during the present campaign which is the other 3.5 mill. So he actually has double what he is telling people.

End of Day

I got an e-mail just now asking me to consider the purchase of a defibrillator for emergencies at home. What am I supposed to do? Paddle myself in an emergency? Can't use it on the dogs. Too big. Besides how would I know the dog is not breathing any longer when he is under the bed? I would have to crawl under the bed and drag the poor pooch out first and by then I would be DOA myself. So this purchase is for another day but I will keep it in mind. A Christmas present for someone neurotic in the family.
My friend e-mailed and told me she watched a program on TV. It was all about UFOs at the Texas ranch. She wanted to know if I believed in UFOs. Of course I do. Any intelligent, sensible person does, especially when the Texas ranch in Crawford is involved. I told her that it was a female Taliban flying squirrel disguised as a suicide bomber and she blew herself up prematurely and that is what all the people saw in the sky and on radar. "Sparks in every direction." The squirrel had nuts filled with little nails. She thought it had to be a male Taliban squirrel with nuts and the poor thing got neutered without trying. I had to concede this point to her. It does help to have good friends who think along with you and are experts.

Happy Birthday Julie

I went and celebrated Mass with the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur. St. Julie Billiart is the foundress. “Ah, qu’il est bon, le Bon Dieu!” (“How good is the Good God!”). I don't know that much about her and will look it up. I always confuse this order with the School Sisters whose foundress was German. Afterwards there was a picnic in the sister's dining room. Very nice and cool and very sensible. We all got a gift wrapped in newspaper that we had to take home and that the sisters did not need or want. The priest got a book "A Woman's journal." Very funny. He traded. I got two over sized strawberries which are pincushions. If they had been bigger I could have used them for breast implants.

The deer and the fawn

I left the house this morning at 11 a.m. and a mother deer crossed the road with her fawn. In bright daylight. Slowly. It was a wonderful sight. I don't think I have ever seen a fawn close-up except in a caged environment.

In the News

The Office of Thrift Supervision shuts down troubled IndyMac Bank and transfers its assets to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, which will reopen the thrift on Monday. Regulators say the California mortgage lender is the largest regulated thrift ever to fail and the second-largest financial institution to be closed in U.S. history.

They hold my mortgage!

Chucky's colleague

Chucky's colleague who is being moved to the State of Perpetual Blue Crabs and Sand is coming to the Church of the Multiple Flags today to perform a Baptism. The parents are parishioners at the Multiple Flags Church. The Big Herod will court them now.

Diggers vs Graders

I researched during the night why diggers can't grade. I found a 1913 manual on the correct digging and grading methods. The problem is that grading is not taught as part of their college curriculum. A digger has to have 20 years of digging experience before he can apply for a Master's degree that includes practical applications in grading. So you see the problem right there. In college they just get a theological overview in grading which is not enough to master the fine arts of grading, and, as already noted, the mastering of grading comes in the Master's degree program. Duh!

And so it ends

The dogs bugged me tonight to take them for a walk. So I took them. New Jerusalem is turning into a water dog. Loves the frogs. Goes into the water up to her chest without any fear. Her chest is four inches max from the ground. My friend blogged that the diggers are digging up her road and disconnected her cable. The diggers are in front of my house as well. I wonder if it is the rain that makes them multiply around the area. So far they have not disconnected anything but I am not holding my breath. I have huge roles of cable in front of the house as well as pipes and other equipment. They mean business but exactly what business I don't know. The cable companies have already come around. Could be the electric company again. They take turns so that your lawn always has orange dotted lines criss crossing everywhere. Then are are these big holes and the orange plastic fence. Then you have to pay a lot of money to grade it all back and seed it because that is not something they do. They are diggeres not graders. Then they send you a very expensive, multi-colored flyer and tell you that the service is new and improved and your bill will double next month. The bill still comes in black and white and is still unreadable as ever. Well, good night y'all. Need to get up in the middle of the night for Adoration.

Your Catholic Horoscope

If you were born between 3:05 and 3:07 on Friday, July 11, you will probably have a birthday today. Don't bet on it, however.
If the gas price goes further up today, you are favored to buy a scooter and fall off on day 2 because the fumes will make you drowsy. The constellations will come together as wonderful stars right before you eyes as you bang your head against the asphalt. Wear a mask (chic-y-chic-y) or a dog muzzle stuffed with Kleenex (cheap) to escape fumes and flying insects in and into your mouth.
NOTE: This is a social horoscope. Not approved by Chucky. Don't leave any flyers at the Church of the Multiple Flags.

The modified Myers-Briggs Test

A friend send me this test to take:

1. You shall take the tasty Breyer's Ice Cream Test!
2. You shall be a four letter BENZ!
3. You shall tolerate at a distance the talking bathrobes!
4. You shall wear CLOGS when you damn well feel like it!
5. You shall watch BLAZING SADDLES!
6. You shall BLOG so others can have a good laugh!
7. You shall be a Thinker!
8. You shall "visit" the non-Thinkers!
9. AHHAHAHAHAHAH!
10.You shall Guide THOSE who are from another planet!
11. You shall stop at Starbucks on the way to your Teachings!
12. You shall have MANY loving friends who stand by you, even in the quicksand!

With friends like this, enemies don't matter.

The Market

The stock market is going down again today. It will keep me from travelling to Russia this summer. I wanted to see all my relatives again. The ticket would actually have been free but all the other incidentals would have cost a fortune and I hate to go and not spoil my brother and sister-in-law. The rental car is the most expensive accessory. Could do without but then I would also have to give up going to daily Mass with the nuns. The Church close by is a bunker designed by a Stalin trained architect. I always go to the Carmelite nuns when I am home.

Friends

I never thought that one could make friends through e-mails. Well, I was wrong. This is a woman whom I met casually at the Six Flags Church. I think they added another flag recently but that gets me off the story I want to tell. She was a lector and I was a lector but that is not how we met either. I just saw her in church because of it. Well, the Big Herod did his Big Herod thing over there and I had to keep in touch with people by e-mail. I invited her to come to my cooking classes but she could not come except once because I only cook Italian and she is Irish and she could not stomach my stuff. However, we started to e-mail with each other and she has a great sense of humor and so we became friends. Lately she has come with me to another cooking class - we settled on Thai - which was agreeable to both of us and she has been very supportive and collated my recipes at the last moment. Otherwise the Thai stuff would have ended up Bavarian. Hot spicy bratwurst with Thai sauerkraut. I don't think anyone would have complained or noticed but since Rome is going back to Latin, week keep our cooking pretty orthodox, too. With Thai you also pray a lot that your gut does not disintegrate while you are eating. I have seen people getting disemboweled while they sit across from you. It is a big mess, believe me. Anyway we are purists: no dog meat in the soup, only pork or perhaps some moose from Maine when somebody sends us some road kill by FedEx.

My Dream

If I ever had a secret dream it was that of being a football player. Not soccer, football. For the defense. A blocker. Mother, when she was alive, always got a big kick out of this dream and also thought I would be a good defensive blocker. So here's to secret dreams.

A wedding or a funeral

I blogged about my own funeral earlier and then opened our very own local Catholic medical journal and saw an article about weddings with Mr. Seligman. Mr. Seligman gets inundated with weddings because he is also a ventriloquist and even when the bride and groom say "no" to each other, he can produce a very audible and convincing "yes." He does that so that the mother-in-laws don't faint. That is why we have so many annulments in the US. It is all the fault of Mr. Seligman. When the honeymoon is over and the bride and groom want a divorce, they accuse each other of having said "no" but the other partner always heard Mr. Seligman's "yes." So it ends up in Rome: "Ai donned knowy dis Cathedrala. Very strange do me!" And they give the couple an annulment and then it starts all over again: Next year in Jerusalem with Mr. Seligman! La Chayim!

A great book and thinking of the future

Sometimes you run into a great book and I just finished reading "Biblical Literacy" by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. Some five hundred pages but very readable and very enjoyable. Never knew that Sarah is the only woman in the Bible whose age at death is recorded (127). Probably because even then no woman wanted it to be known how old she was at death. Sarah might well have been 147 but along the way she knocked off a few years. Grief stricken, like most husbands at this point, he wastes a fortune for a burial plot. I finished the book this morning at 2 a.m. and now I am drinking coffee to save the rest of the day. I asked Mr. Seligman to do my funeral when the time comes. I hope he remembers. Yes, you have my permission. Knock off a few years from my real age. I would enjoy that. "And here we lay to rest Mrs. Beerstein who had just turned forty yesterday but died of old age." No autopsy please, no organ transplant, none of that. I need all my parts at the resurrection. I don't want to run around trying to find these things. I wear glasses, remember? I would not find half of my parts without glasses anyway.

As the world turns.....

The new guy could not be more different than the last one. Mrs. Fritchley was in a better mood and dragged him over to the rectory for a while. I am glad I am leaving for Steubentown next week. Gave my lecture tonight to the evening crowd at the Church of the Crucified. Wonderful turnout. I think they enjoyed what I had to offer. Lots of rain going up. Diner dinner afterwards with a friend. Came home, fed the dogs and wondering how long the stock market is going to go south. Big loss today again.

The different wines

I am reading our local paper. Somebody is describing a German Riesling: "key-lime, Parma ham, wintergreen, ginger candy. The palate is taut, grippy, exciting." If I remember correctly, sex wasn't so much fun as this wine is supposed to be. I think I'll skip this one. Oh yeah, the description of the Austrian wine is even mushier: "wonderfully sorrely and nettle-y and spearminty." Who in the world would drink something that reminds them of nettles? We had nettle soup after the war. No thanks!

The letters

Talked today about the letters. I am a ENTJ who can change into an INTJ. For me it means I enjoy the interaction with the adults. Don't care if there are two or fifty. I just love to teach. Love to see other people get excited about the Catholic faith. I spent all week doing homework - getting prepared for the lectures this week. Somebody wanted to know if leaving ones body was Satanic. That's a letter combination that is not in the book. We deal with prayer preferences not out of the body preferences.

New Jerusalem

New Jerusalem loves the little man made pond in the area. She thinks she can catch frogs. She actually goes into the water up to her chest - very brave - before she pulls back. The bigger dog only gets her feet wet and is out of the water. The frogs are jumping from the banks into the water right by the noses of the dogs. Once in the murky water the frogs are invisible. Since there are so many frogs right now it is a show in itself to see all these frogs jumping into the water. We are so blessed with the weather in this area, especially this year. Everything is lush and green.

Dear Mr. Seligman

Dear Mr. Seligman - Couldn't you have taken Mrs. Fitchley with you? Train her to make cheese with chocolates? Don't you have a job for her?

Desperate housewife

Do you have yellow teeth?

I just saw this ad as I logged into my e-mail. I don't have yellow teeth but I have seething, grinding teeth today. Enough of it. I need to go to my basement office and pay some of my bills. My teeth will be more seething/grinding and yellow as well before it is all over when I am done.

Lord have Mercy

Mrs. Fritchley showed up this morning wanting to know what I was doing there on Monday mornings. Told her that I was usually there on Monday mornings. After Mass, I wanted to look up something on our calendar but she wanted to run off a copy. "Come to me when you need a copy of the calendar." I almost lost it. The parish priest needs a credit card. She should have just given him the one we have in the office for the time being but that would have been too easy. "Come to me with that, I will do that for you" is the perpetual refrain. Do I vomit now? Do I vomit later? I positively will turn passive agressive over there. Her best friend was hired for a part time job. She is not bad but the two of them together is not good.

Our new Pastor

Celebrated first Mass with him today. Very nice. Likes young children. I think it will be a very good fit.

Politics

My friend Franzie tries to convert me to a Republican. Fat chance. I get e-mails about the evils of Clinton. Well, there was his private side and his public side and his public side was more intelligent than his private side and that is what I voted for - his public side. I would have voted for Hillary but now will vote for Obama. It is nice to see that all the black folks really have a reason to come out and vote this time. I think they will. I used to get e-mails that Obama was a Muslim. That was before his Christian Minister surfaced and people realized he probably wasn't. Our office is divided. One rabid Republican, one less rabid Republican, at least two Democrats: the real nun and me. The rest I don't know. The Republican side is so out of touch with reality that I don't even start a conversation. I am a closet Democrat there.

The Party

Fourth of July party at the neighbors. Ended up talking to a lapsed Catholic. We had a good conversation. Do I believe in reincarnation? No, heck, that is not Catholic. I need to give her some of my books.

The squirrel

The squirrel went up the five foot sunflower and picked out the kernels. Came back down and hid the kernels in the dirt. Went back up and chewed off the whole flower at the top. I watched in disbelief. Now I have a five foot sunflower stalk.

Getting up

I could not sleep last night. Tossed and turned and the dog wanted to push me out of the bed. Then my friend Franzie forwarded me this e-mail about the President. Once I got to the line that he got us out of a recession I wasn't sure if I still was in Kansas or had already left. We ARE in a recession now. We are printing money right and left to pay for a war that he started. The dollar is worthless overseas. Oil is purchased in dollars. The Chinese need more and can buy more which drives up the price for everyone but they get the oil and we get the benefit of higher prices. It's not going to stop. It will be at $7 a gallon. Oh, don't forget, write the President a "Thank you" note.

Time for a cup of coffee.

The Arch again

The Arch received his pallium in Rome. That a cloth made out of sheep wool. All the friends and foes went. Every single bishop. Couldn't they have mailed him the thing and had a Mass here? Do they know how expensive travel is? A hot meal in Rome without alcohol cost $70. They don't take cabs either. They have chauffeured limos and stay in four star hotels.

Diet

I am on a diet. I just started. At least I am turning the boxes around and look at the labels. That's all - I am looking. But it is a start. I figure turning the boxes equals exercise and I burn another calorie. Stay tuned. In 40 years I may fit into my wedding gown again. Just in time to get burried having a nice slim figure. Perhaps by then I will be the poster child for a coffin ad. "Call us if you want to look like this in your coffin. Don't let your family be distraught. We can make you beautifully slim even if you were overweight in real life. In an emergency, we will saw you in two."

Nephew of the Nun

The nephew of the nun was in juvenile detention for four weeks. There was a hearing a few days ago and other than restitution for property destroyed amounting to about 100 K, he is free. How a kid that does not understand the value of money and does not work is supposed to repay anything is open for debate. An extended period in juvenile detention might have helped him. He is not going back to school. The school which looked so nice on the web was a joke. There was no security at night preventing the kids from leaving. Now it is the father's turn to take over where the aunt failed. This is one of the few kids I would love to see get a thorough beating.

It is the 4th of July

Day of liberty, day of grace, day of rest. The Lord has given this country many advantages - I am one of them.

Five to Four

The Supreme Court recently decided that the good people in Washington, DC, needed to defend themselves from an evil government and permission was granted to purchase handguns. One of my hood friends called it "nutty." I agree. When you visit the wonderful city of Washington, DC, you see a police officer every three feet securing the buildings around the Senate and Supreme Court. As for the rest of the people - they are permitted to shoot it out among themselves now.

The upped Arch

The Archbishop in the next diocese got his arch up and is after the Legionaries of Christ. A priest friend told me it was justified but the conditions that were made public sound vindictive like he wants to pinch their butts.

This cow is still laughing

When a bear is really a bear

We are officially in a bear market. Not fun for someone who is retired and living on savings and investments. Since last October everything has been heading south. My losses are half of that of the general market but a loss is a loss. So today I raised some cash and moved my position more into energy mutual funds. I see no end to the rising oil prices. It is difficult to say "no" to people with whom one wants to be generous.

The lectures

I am giving a series of lectures right now. It is on boat safety. Actually it is going well. People like to feel safe. More people showed up than I expected. Somebody blogged about it and my former boss read the blog. The blog was favorable. I was lucky. I enjoy lecturing. I like to see the people getting passionate about sailing. I get more work from this marina than from my own. It keeps me busy.
I volunteered yesterday. Asked my new pastor if he needed anything. I was the only one in the office. It seemed to be the decent thing to do. Today he left me a shopping list. If poor Mrs. Finchley would know this, she would come back from her vacation. It is too funny. No, no, nooooo bonbons on the list. I am not volunteering to get any either. Just the bread and milk, please.

The new cheese roller

Message from the Head Cheese: Mr. Seligman, we can only make the cheese softer, not the mountain. Would you like to roll down on some brie wheels? If you had another accident, we could sell you as a wedding cake. You could just pop out of the cheese

The new bed

The new pastor got a new bed. Mrs. Finchley bought it for him. Actually that was very nice but she also left three bonbons for him on his pillow. Yes, here we start again. The bed itself is not so bad but the bonbons? Heavens forbid any of us would get any ideas about leaving bonbons on his pillow. That would get us into trouble with Mrs. Finchley in a hurry. One has to be very careful what one does for the new pastor. I promise: I won't leave three bonbons on his pillow. Two may be? One? This would take an executive meeting with the Director of Facilities: What kind? What color? In the middle of the pillow or a little bit to the right? I think I will just watch the show.

The new pastor

Howdy-Y'all come to my next sermon. Chucks - it won't be long. I am a man of brevity. I got a life.

I am waiting for the cowboy boots to show under the chasuble.

Mr. Seligman

Mr. Seligman came back from his honeymoon. He is supposed to be my new branch manager in the cheese factory in Zurich. His main job is to roll down the cheese from the mountain right into the factory. Unfortunately, he decided to construct a motorcycle out of two cheese wheels by sticking a handle bar through the first cheese. He was going to sit on the second cheese. 100% gas efficient. He fell off, the handlebar went through his brain. It lodged there permanently. It a new form of brain implant. He landed in front of a herd of cows. The cows all laughed. La vache qui rit. "The cow that laughs" - it is a brand in case you don't know. Thats how we got it. Mr. Seligman looks like a bull with horns. He has one red kerchief tied to each end so people see him coming. Mr. Seligman wants to try again. Stay tuned.