The stock market

Well, the stock market is sinking and so is my stomach. Too bad the powers to be could not come up with an agreement. This way everyone gets hurt.

The clouds

I had to go west yesterday. Crossed the border into sunny France. It had rained and there was the most interesting cloud formation. It was wonderful to see God in His creation. On the way back home, I saw a beautiful rainbow. Got home and my friend Heloise called. She found a dog that belonged to a since departed neighbor. Neighbor was a nut the way I remembered him but we did not hold this against the dog. The dog was reunited with his owner later during the night.

Branch meeting

Tomorrow is a Branch meeting. We will be like birds, sitting on the branches, chirping away. Mr. Seligman's cat is under the weather. So no fear from that end. Nobody will be eaten tomorrow. What a relief!

Do or Die

I was in one of those "do or die" situations. I finally got around to do my taxes - for 2007. Just never was motivated enough to balance my checking account for the year end. It actually was not as painful as I had imagined. I ended up 1 penny off as I continued to balance my checking account to get it current. The investments are taking a hit and my biggest hobby had been given money to charities and, well, that already stopped. Wall Street is a mess and who knows where we will all end up. Tonight I went to the Diner. It was packed. It seems to be somewhat less crowded during the week. The Diner is not a fancy place and people are still going out - at least to the Diner.

Worth less

The story is told of Baron Edmond Rothschild who once asked his personal assistant to calculate the Baron's net "worth." A few days later the assistant came back with the sum total of his assets. The Baron said "That is not how much I am worth... The government could seize all my assets in an instant." The Baron then removed a small key from his vest pocket and opened the center drawer of his desk. He slowly pulled out a ledger and placed it on his desk. He opened it and said "This is a ledger of all the money I have given to charity. This is something that can NEVER be taken away. THIS is how much I am 'worth'."

The Branch Manager

The branch manger is a character. Likes practical jokes. It's not something we are used to. I am not sure what to believe. The secretary tells me certain things and I wonder. My relationship is cordial and nice with him and he is the only branch manager who is available to come with us to breakfast on Wednesday morning. On the bright side, my former spiritual director is moving back into town. God is good.

The Morning News

This morning I drove to Zurich because we are closing a Capuchin office. On the way out, I could not leave the parking lot. Somebody was nicely blocking me. It turned out the Bishop! It was not Chucky, it was the other one. The nice one. Then I took a wrong turn and came right by Mr. Seligman's mansion. Crossed the border. Made it back home. Waited for the conference call to start. Now back to more mundane things.

Travels

Left one of my black hoods in the lap of luxury at a resort place. I am back and the brown hoods are knocking at the door. Right now I am overwhelmed with work.

Who is Mr. Seligman?

Mr. Seligman is a Catholic Rabbi. The only one in the world. He will do my funeral.

How to live to 120

My friend Roz had the answer this morning: You live until you are 119 and then very, very carefully the last year.

What a funny card

I saw this card about our esteemed President today:
These are 10 ways that described him:
A few peas short of a casserole
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
Fell out of the Dumb Tree and hit all the branches on the way down
Surfing in Nebraska
Missing a few buttons on the TV remote

This is my personal favorite:
The wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead

Belt doesn't go through all the loops
Living proof that evolution can go in reverse
A few feathers short of a whole duck

Microwave

My friend Heloise sent me condolences concerning the death of my microwave. I had to tell her that it came back to life again. She was sorry that everything was so "black" in my house. Well the house is connected to quite a few priests - so "black" it is - but for different reasons.

Demons in the Microwave

My microwave is possessed. It stopped working, started again five minutes before the repairman came last time around, stopped working again after two weeks and came on today in the middle of testing but the repairman could not find anything wrong with it. The Big Herod would have a field day with this microwave. He would call for a deliverance service and strip the microwave to its underwear while his sensitives would turn around and shield their eyes. Well, I will do without the Big Herod and pray to the microwave saint or saints. There's got to be one or two around. If it goes out again, I will buy a new one.

Mr. Seligman

I read in our rag paper that Mr. Seligman chased several people off his branch property. They were Union sympathizers and everyone knows that Mr. Seligman lives in a rebel town. So Mr. Seligman sent his attack cat after them. I wonder where the bird was. Probably looking out the upstairs window having a heart attack. Mr. Seligman is very smart and knows all the Jewish laws: What you can do and cannot do and Union sympathizers are not mentioned in the Torah. AND he checked with the Chief Rabbi who patted Mr. Seligman on his back for being so astute, faithful and knowledgeable. Go chase them down the street Mr. Seligman!

Everything is going downhill....

Everything is going downhill including the sale of Pernot. That is the fault of mother. Mother always sipped Pernot with beer. Sorry Pernot people. You lost your best customer when mother died.

Minnie and Mousy and other stories

My friend Heloise keeps me entertained with all her Minnie and Mousy grand kids stories. They are funny and my friend has a way of writing them down that make them fun to read. Meanwhile, I had a nice asthma attack the other day and it took me out of action for 24 hours. Our fall "social program" started. We only call our programs "social" because of the Big Herod but everyone plays along and knows the reason for it. It is funny that one has to call religious activities "social activities" because of a mean spirited Catholic priest. Our first evening was a HUGE success. I only interact socially and open the Bible socially and drink coffee socially, time permitting.

The particle Accelerator

The particle accelerator is in the news again. We are trying to find out how the Big Bang occured. What were the particles that were there BEFORE the Big Bang? For this we are spending billions, billions. I checked with my science advisor who told me that everyone knows that the Big Bang occurred because of exploding Sauerkraut. Those were the particles that caused the Big Bang. There.....now you know the scientific facts.

Back from the groomer

The dogs are back from the groomer and look adorable. Also look 10 pounds lighter each. It is amazing what hair can do. The next trip WILL be to the vet. I once had a dog who willingly gave his paw for blood. Wasn't bothered by needles a bit. Also once had a dog who would regularly snap after the vet when the vet was finished and least expected it. I have to say I always loved that dog. It showed smarts. My current dogs shake and act scared when it is vet time. I keep telling then that it is not major surgery but they don't understand.

The Redeemers

Went to the Church of the Redeemers this morning downtown. The priest was elderly years ago when I first met him. Now he is really elderly. Lots of mumbling. Could not understand but every fourth word of his little homily. The grace was there. I am wondering what they will do in a few years. My elderly white hooded friend is in better shape than this priest.

The dogs

I took the dogs to the groomer this morning. The big one always thinks she is going to the vet. She started to hyperventilate. So I sang to her. She calmed down. Then the little one started to hyperventilate. Then the big one started to hyperventilate again. So much for my singing.

Subject: Dutch clockmaker

An American tourist was visiting in the Netherlands. During his stay in Amsterdam his watch stopped running. He asked one of the locals where he could get his watch fixed. The tourist was guided to the Jewish section of town. He was then directed toward a shop that had clocks displayed in the window. The American tourist entered the shop. Inside, behind a desk, sat an elderly Jewish man with a full beard.
TOURIST: Hello.
JEWISH MAN: Hello.
TOURIST: I came here to have my watch fixed.
JEWISH MAN: Sorry, I don't fix watches. I am a Mohel.
TOURIST: What's a Mohel?
JEWISH MAN: A Mohel is a Jewish Man who performs ritual circumcisions.
TOURIST: Ritual circumcisions! ...But why do you have all those clocks in the window?!
JEWISH MAN: So what would you want me to put in my window?

Food for body and soul

I fixed myself a ham sandwich and that woke up both dogs. Good noses. My friend Heloise - who is hanging at the beach - writes that she is eating popcorn sandwiches filled with seagull meat. Could be that she is feeding the seagulls popcorn. Her e-mails were waterlogged. I did my Bible class homework tonight. I really enjoyed it. The Gospel of John. See the light? Now I will give New Jerusalem her English lesson and read a while.

A different view

I looked at my blog from a different computer and the clock looks slightly distorted - slighly oval than round. It still works but it looks better round. I worked on a Right to Life blog this morning. Just one of those things I love to do - create new blogs. The mice had their first bible class this morning. We had stopped in the middle of 1 Sam in spring. They all wanted to start at the beginning. So we did. I love Hannah and had no problem. Mrs. Fritchley told me this morning that the chalices had not been cleaned recently after a Mass. I told her I would not mind doing it but did not know that was my job. The unfortunate part is that when we had a Rabbi, Mr. Seligman, celebrate our Masses, they fell all over each other cleaning the chalices afterwards and now that we have a regular priest they don't and, because they don't, it has suddenly become my job. I love their thinking.

Hitting the road

This morning on the road, a squirrel crossed the road running and I heard a bump and looked through my back window and there was this lifeless body on the road. I was bummed out. I really hate killing innocent wildlife. I have a very aggressive, pot smoking squirrel in my backyard and I might have felt different killing it but I had no relationship with this squirrel. From there I went to Bible class at the Church of the Crucified. There are four different subgroups and I am the "floater" facilitator. I will take over whenever somebody is sick. Grocery shopping, cooking, answering mail and making calls. I am trying for the second time a new marinated chicken recipe that came through the branch office. I liked it the first time and wanted to try it a second time. The secret is apple cider vinegar and it gives the chicken a tangy taste which is not bad. It is a summer picnic chicken recipe.

Another Day

This morning we could not figure out if we are going to have school Mass or Mass in the chapel. By the time we decided to have Mass in the chapel because someone had shown up for school Mass, our lectionary was gone.....The new seminarians left us a wonderful cake yesterday. Looked like strawberry angelfood. One of the seminarians knows my white hood friend with the dark glasses. It is a small world. It was a busy day doing odds and ends.

Cremation

I am reading the paper this morning. I need to feel a newspaper. Anyway, they had an article about cremation and now, folks, you can have a little pendant around your neck and wear the ashes - well some of them - around your neck. I hope they make the little keepsake containers waterproof. I have a tendendy to wear my necklaces in the shower. I would hate to feel a nitty gritty feeling suddenly and realize that the ashes are running down my front into the drain. Ooops - mother going down the drain! Well, it could not happen to mother anyway. Mother was buried by Mr. Seligman six feet under or there abouts. Mother left it up to me how I wanted to dispose of her body and we gave mother a wonderful Catholic send off with the angels and the saints.

And here is the wooden car you always wanted

The new look

The blog got a new look. Same old author. Wished I could make myself over like this. Tonight I had dinner with friends at the mall. Great friends, good food but bad choice as far as location because I went shopping after. Could not resist a few funky scarves.

You gotta love this bike

Vote

One of my celibate friends is Fr. Andy. He is one of those brown hoods people. No nonsense kind of guy. I value his opinion especially now when we are voting pretty soon. So, I think I will vote like Fr. Andy. Out here I am definitely in a minority. So one keeps one's opinions to oneself. Yes, I would like to give my vote to a prolife candidate but when the prolife candidates ruin the world what is life worth?

$ 2.00

Yes, I won the Lottery again. Two dollars again. It is always two dollars except one time a few years back I was invited to the dog races with Mr. Seligman. I lost seventeen dollars by the end of the day and the next week I got exactly seventeen dollars in the mail from the Lottery. I knew then that God provides, albeit on a very limited budget at times. Do you remember the dog races Mr. Seligman?

Gentle Rain and Wonderful Plans

We have a gentle rain now. No winds. It is beautiful. My friends invited me for an early dinner at one of the malls. Tomorrow I had planned to go to a picnic but it looked less and less inviting to me as the time approached and a while ago another friend called and invited me out to lunch and - hurrah -I will drive from my church tomorrow after Mass to the Happy Irish Fisheaters place and have lunch with my friend.

Life without microwave

My microwave died recently. The repairman is coming on Monday. I am cooking instant coffee on the stove. Camping out in my own kitchen. I think the microwave is the most used appliance in the house. However, I found milk at the super duper market that comes in little packages and needs not be refrigerated. It is great and tastes great. Less spoilage.

Ooops

When I blogged about test tube babies, my friend Heloise thought I was one. I needed a good laugh folks and I think I laughed for the rest of the day. I told her by e-mail that Prince Philip was my father and this brought on a new exchange of funny e-mails. Poor Prince Philip. I bet if everyone was tested half the world is connected to royalty.

Same Sex Marriage

Well, I am not for it and, Heloise, if you read this don't get the wrong idea again: I've never had one. When I grew up I never even heard the words homosexuals and gays. I think I learned more when I moved into this area and people made it into the papers because they had had been attacked in a bar or club downtown. By that time I was an adult. Then came the time when the military decided they would not automatically discharge you if you were gay but only if you did not tell anyone. Mother said at the time that there had been many gays in the military during WWII. Mother would have known. She served. Then we got all these obits in the papers that young males were dying from cancer. Initially, nobody wanted to use the word HIV and the implication. Now we are in the open, flaunt whatever sexual orientation we have and think that a state sponsored legalization is actually a marriage. Listen to me: a marriage is a sacred bond (covenant) between a male and a female, othwerwise known as man and woman. No shortcuts, no extensions.

The Elections

The friends and I met this morning at the Diner and there were at least 10 of us and none of us likes McCain. Finally another friend joined us who had no idea what we were talking about. She sat down and told us that she is in love with McCain and will volunteer for him. We just looked at each other. It was funny.

The Dog Walk

Walked the dogs tonight. The only thing the older dog could think of was eating the grass. Finally I let her off the leash as I got tired pulling her. Not sure if her stomach is upset or she was just looking for a snack. I did change the dog food recently to something supposedly more natural without additives and so on. Who knows - she is probably getting canned rat in the dog food can. That would be all natural.

The test tube baby

Recently I blogged about women who use sperm donors who father their children and one of my friends thought that I was a test tube baby. Hilarious. No I was not. I think the first test tube baby was Louise Brown in England in the sixties. So there is a time discrepancy to begin with. I am not that old. My mother produced all her children the old fashioned way. However, I was born two months premature, always suspect when one is the oldest but I was the youngest. I was packed in cotton as no baby clothes fit. Perhaps that is what made my mind fuzzy - all the cotton.

Heloise

My friend Heloise is a heck of a friend and her blogs are great. She has a real gift for writing. So if you want to read more about her adventures go to
http://sunshine-and-lollipops.blogspot.com/

The football team

Went to the local Diner tonight by myself and the football team was playing. That made me homesick for mother. I watched it a little on TV. Mother would have been in a foul mood because they are losing. Time to give an English lesson to New Jerusalem.

The Stars

I bought a star dial. It permits you to go outside, arrange the dials and identify the stars - no, it is not for fortune telling. Y'all don't get me into more trouble with Chucky the Walking Blanket!First of all if you are not close enough to the glass door there is not enough light to see what is on the dial. Then I tried to look up and still could not identify much if anything. Then something was bright and moving and it turned out to be an airplane. Better stars next time.

Circular tunnel

I read the Wall Street Journal today. They have a new particle accelerator underneath France/Switzerland and were sending subatomic matter around. There must have been a leak and a secret exit tunnel because my microwave died this morning. Thank you all you black hole people!

The Branch Manager

I could not sleep. I thought about our branch manager. The trouble is that the two before him were intellectual powerhouses and he is not. Then he has some personal quirkiness that puts people off. They compare the before and after and on this basis he does not compare too well. We are one heck of a holy zoo.

Charism School

At the Big Herod's church someone left a brochure about Charism School. Obviously somebody from the parish had gone to one of these seminars where they teach you and train you in the charismatic gifts. So it was advertised in the brochure at least. Can one really go to school for something like this? I thought these gifts were gratuitous. I think one can learn to better understand them and then it is really up to God.

To celibate or not to celibate.

All my men friends are celibate. I don't know why. It just so happens. I have no problem with it. If I would be younger, I'd love to be an extern with the nuns next to Fr. Wolfgang. I love to read, get together with any friend for a good meal and conversation and then enjoy the privacy of my home. One of my white hood friends is advanced in years and likes to wear dark glasses because his eyes are sensitive. So naturally, people ask me if he is blind. "Heck no!" I have to tell them "And he about to buy a car!" Yep, that is what he wants to do. I am not in favor but try to tell an old man something and even the most celibate will get a nasty streak. There comes the time in a celibate's life when they start responding to you: "I don't give a damn!" By that time they are at least 75........Starrsinnig.

The squirrel

The squirrel went up the sunflower stalk and bit the top sunflower off. I blogged about it. The sideshoots disappeared as well and I had a sunflower scarecrow in the yard. Next, I watched as the squirrel took a whole corn on the cob, also bitten off its stalk, and dragged it into the bushes. Watched the rape of the corn on the cob with disbelief. The corncob was almost as big as the squirrel. I am not sure where this squirrel went to squirrel school but it is one aggressive squirrel. If I were to see it with a gun, I would not be surprised.

Dad

Have you ever thought that you could be one of those kids that has a father who is a number? "My father was a sperm donor, number 827, from Denmark. My mother picked him because he was tall and blond according to the bio. I will never see him or get to know him. My mother said that I may have many half siblings because he donated a lot of sperm. Unfortunately, I still resemble my mother who is short, has brown eyes and brown hair."
And the moral is: Be grateful if you had a real Dad.

Trouble in Paradise

Mr. Seligman, the new branch manager Mr. XX, is creating troubles for himself. I wish I could help. Apparently, he is cutting up too much during the Sunday Yoga excercises. Talks to the attendants when he should give an example and be attentive. One of my senior mice complained today quite vocally. It is Wednesday. I mentioned it to Mrs. Hitchley, not Mrs. Fritchley and she said she had also noticed it at one of the morning excercises but she did not feel that she should tell him. Well, if she can't who will? Perhaps you could call me? I heard you are back from Zurich for a short visit to the US.

Buzz off

The appointed go between for the Big Herod called again last night. The big push was to convince me that I should not go and visit one of his parishioners socially - because "he is so sick." The reason is that they want me out of the picture but the parishioner and his wife are friends and that does rankle the Big Herod. He considers this couple friends of his. He can't stand it. I was ready to tell this woman to buzz off. Anyway, I did tell her that I will deal with the couple directly - no intermediary needed.

How to vote

My brown hoods are thinking of voting for Obama. One my white hoods, whom I know, is going to vote for McCain. I am in a real quandry. I am pro-life but there is nothing else that attracts me to the Republican Party. A lot of people think that is the ONLY issue which way one should vote but I just cannot bring myself to think this way. I miss Mother because Mother was a politicalcoholic and knew all the issues. I never had to pay attention because Mother knew and I voted as Mother voted. Well, Mother is dead. If I could give my pro-life vote to McCain and Obama would still win the election - that would be heavenly.