Life Coach

I decided to be a Life Coach over the Internet. You can set your own fees. Mine will be $8.95 per minute. Folks I am trying this out on you. Let me know if I have talent.
Me: Gooood morning Mrs. Anderson.
Client: I thunk I've a bad hairday.
Me: Mrs. Anderson that is probably because your hair is still over your eyes. Turn your head around 180 degrees so that you bangs are not at the back of your head but at the front.
Me: Ready, slow, turn. Did it work?
Client: Yiiip.
Me: What is your problem today Mrs. Anderson?
Client: My toenails.
Me: Mrs. Anderson your toenails are a reflection of your sole.
Client: Soul?
Me: No, in your case Mrs. Anderson, the sole, as in fish.....
Client: Ah So-----le
Me: Yes, your toenails are a reflection of your sole. If your sole is dirty, your toenails are probably dirty, too.
Client: Is there any help?
Me: I have an exorcist.....
Client: Never mind
Me: Well then, if you are so uncooperative, let us start with socks. Get some socks out of your drawer and put them on.
Client: Clean or dirty socks?
Me: It won't matter in your case Mrs. Anderson.
Me: Your time is up. That will be $86.05. Visa or MasterCard? I will call you again tomorrow.

I think I have found my calling as a life coach