Reading Consumer Reports

I got the latest copy in the mail today and in the middle of the magazine is an article "Find the purr-fect vacuum." That was for me. I am looking to the left of the article to look at the overall score and read names like Durex, Lifestyles, Beyond and I am thinking to myself that I have really not kept up with vacuum brands. Nothing looked familiar. Then I looked again and the left side of the page had nothing to do with vacuums. They were rating condoms! Can you imagine me going to the local little vacuum store - yes, they still exist - and asking them to show me a Durex or a Lifestyle? What can I say - there by the grace of God.