Lights out

At 3 a.m. the lights went out. The generator came on. Moved to the sun room because the generator is outside the bedroom and makes too much noise. By 8 a.m. we had electricity again. Went to the post office to mail an M-bag. That is a huge post office bag that can be sent overseas. Had too many books in Khazakhistani which I had gotten through Amazon.kh and which I sent back over there for my brother to read. Not enough people here in the area are fluid in Khazakhistani. Now my foyer looks better. I had this M-bag sitting on the floor and kept throwing books into it. Headed into France today for spiritual direction. My spiritual director is back from Steubenfloor and took me back. I am delighted. Agrees with previous assessments that I need to stay away from the big Herod. Had lunch with him and then went across the street to see what wonderful delights the bookstore had. Bought some more books. Came home and was reading. This is life! Fed the dogs. Tripped with the dog food and spilled dry dog food over the kitchen floor. This is a half life!

School is closed

And my driveway is icy. The main roads are fine. Decided not to go to the branch office this morning. My mice won't be there anyway. I will be doing a little clean-up around here. It is needed. It is nice to have a few lazy days that come as a total surprise.

Heloise is at it again

Heloise worked overtime - her brain - and came up with these book titles. They don't exist yet. She wants me to write these books. She blogged about it and it was so funny that I copied them here. I really could write a book about Herod and his Grimm Tales.

The World according to Jackie"
"The Decline and Fall of the Roman Toga"
"Pie in the face??? You betcha!"
"Herod and other Grimm Tales"
"If I had a hammer, I'd.........NEVERMIND!"
"I love dogs....I just can't eat a whole one by myself!"
"The WHOLY LAND"
"Rabbis vs Rabbits and Why We Love Them!" (Followed by, "Hosenpfeffer and the Torah!")
"Bishops in the Game of Chess!"

The Turin Shroud

Next to our hotel in Jerusalem we had a museum dedicated to the Turin Shroud. We got a guided tour by Fr. Kelly. Fr. Kelly is Irish and just gives you the historic facts. The shroud is a lifesize replica. Once I looked at all the facts that were there for us to examine, I believe that it is not Christ. Probably a very holy person, but not Christ. The biggest flaw is that the person in the shroud was nailed through the wrists. OK. Lots of people think Jesus got nailed through the wrists. I don't. I like Catherine Emmerich's version that his wrists were tied with rope to the cross and that he was nailed through his hands. Yes, Catherine Emmerich saw this in her visions and this is a private revelation but they found the house of the Blessed Mother in Ephesus again based on her visions. I consider her visions pretty accurate. After we had all seen the shroud and heard about its history, a lot of people in our tour group were willing to believe this was the shroud of Christ. Then Lara said something that brought confusion into the believers: Why, if Christ was nailed through the wrists as the shroud depicts, do all the people who get the stigmata, get it through the hands? Ouch!

Dog Food

I looked at the cans of dog food I bought yesterday. One of the cans says: "Duck meat and duck broth." Holy Jeremiah, I am eating hot dogs and the dogs are eating duck meat. I should taste the duck meat. Perhaps we could eat the same food in the future - no, not from the same bowl! My hot dogs say: "No sugar added and no reduced calorie food." The calories come from the fat but why does it say "No sugar added"? Are there sweet hot dogs out there???? My hot dogs also advertise that they are in "natural casings." That is gut, cleaned out, folks. From where? Swine? Probably from a sweet looking (former) swine - but without sugar.

Rabbi Seligman

We had lunch yesterday. Spur of the moment thing for the nun and me and it was nice that the Rabbi was available. We always cater to this kosher bar. Rabbi Seligman brought two of his temple students along. He said he sees the Chief Rabbi more often than Chucky. Oy. I hope the Chief Rabbi is a better animal than Chucky. I would not mind seeing Chucky put into a cannon and shot into some terroist camp. Dear Lord: Thy will be done. Can't you kill them? And if not, can't you just give them a case of severe hemorrhoids? To both - Chucky and the Big Herod. You did it once in the Bible. I want another miracle. No cure. Well, not after a looooooong time. I don't want to be un-Christian.

Shopping for Dog Food

I ran out of dog food today. So late this afternoon I went to the strip mall. There is a nice pet shop there. Looked at the birds while I was there. Lovely conures. They are small parrots. I had two almost 40 years ago. They are loud. We lived in an apartment. I had to get rid of them. Today, I let little Jessie nibble at my finger. I fell in love. I looked at the sign. $89. Then I realized that was the price for the cage. The price for the bird was $400 +. Good-bye little Jessie. For that amount I can get half a dog. Went to the grocery store. Bought hot dogs. $4. Wondered what a hot bird would be like.

No Dinner

Well, I cried all day and realized that I activated something deeper. So I finally took more medicine and called off dinner. My eyes are shut from crying. Brown hood has no clue why I am under the weather and no reason to spoil his day. Can't understand why I reacted by crying so much but I did.

Dead people

My friend, the nun, drove with her little nephew past a cemetery where somebody was being buried. My friend explained to her nephew that we all had to die that is how we go to heaven. He promptly wanted to know "if God then dug us up." She assured him that God did not dig us up but that our soul which was like a ghost flew to heaven. He turned to her and very determined told her that only birds could fly. "Everyone knows that." At that point she knew she was getting way ahead of him and changed the subject.

That, too?

I went to adoration this morning (still the Big Herod's place) and read in the bulletin that one of my brown hood friends is going over there to celebrate Mass next weekend. That caused a nice crying fit that will not stop. So I called Fr. Wolfgang just now. I have gotten over the fact that he goes there as well occasionally but I was upset about him, too, when he first went. Now I can take it when I hear that Fr. Wolfgang goes over there. This new one, however, surprised me. And my reaction to it surprised me even more. To boot, we are supposed to have dinner tonight together. It will be an interesting dinner.
Fr Wolfgang has his problems, too, in his community and so we will pray for each other. Of course, when I pray for Fr. Wolfgang I pray for Rabbi Seligman as well because they are related. Rabbi Seligman is Fr. Wolfgang's nephew. Tomorrow I will see Rabbi Seligman perhaps because I go up to Canada. I hope I have stopped crying by then, otherwise I might tell him that the "dog died."

Heloise

Met Heloise this morning. What a fun morning. She treated me to a large Cafe Mocha. Soul food. Lots of fun discussions. She still is in the Big Herod's parish......Tonight I am going over to the nun and we will view another of the DVDs that I got from Fr. Zee who specializes in the Old Testament. Well, I wanted to do two things today and I got one thing done. 999,999 more tasks to do. I will have to go to K-mart tomorrow and see if I can buy any gloves cheaply. I have plenty of clothes but not many gloves and gloves are needed for my trip on Sunday.
One of my friends called from out of town and wanted to know if I had a boy friend. I said all my friends are unfortunately or fortunately celibate priests. She responded that one of her friends had seen me in a restaurant repeatedly out here with a guy. Well, I told her that is a priest as well. We both laughed. I told her not to tell her friend. Why ruin my reputation? Actually it is one of my Capuchin friends and he happens to be the replacement for Fr. Wolfgang and the Big Herod did not want the replacement. So now he comes out to a different parish and I treat him to a decent meal every so often after Saturday evening Mass. He likes the food at that place. It is close to the Big Herod's place but also on his way home and so a lot of people still recognize me when I go there. Of course, they would not know who the "guy" was.

Right to Life

I will be going up to the Church of the Crucified who will have a Mass at 9 am. It is too cold for me to march although I would have liked to. My friend Heloise, the blogger, and I are meeting at Starwucks later this morning for coffee. I have a million things to do and plan to do one or two today. Will be in Canada distributing clothing this Sunday. I have gotten so many contributions yesterday that I barely have the rear view window open to look out. No reason that take all that stuff out of the car. Easier to leave it in the car and go Sunday and distribute it to the homeless.

Just so

My mice had Bible class today. I lost one recently but somebody else joined us. The branch manager joined us, too, which was great for us. He was hilariously funny today and he kept us laughing.
We are supposed to give money to Chucky's boss. The annual appeal. Fat chance. I wrote Chucky last year that with all the nonsense, where he supports and agrees with the Big Herod, I was not going to contribute another dime. We also are going to have some town hall meeting - again. They are still thinking they can build a holy annex. I don't think so. When the Rabbi left, they alienated a lot of people and people who are alienated don't give. Now if they were to tell us that the branch manager would stay with us for a million years, we would not believe it. I would not. I am buying a new gadget for the branch. That is it. So some people are not in the giving mood because the Rabbi left and I am not in the giving mood because of Chucky. Good luck with this policy!

Say what?

The Big Herod approached the family of a friend last Sunday - the mother is 80 plus and the children are all grown and told them that he just realized that her husband and their father was domineering. Now the father has been dead for about six years and the family vehemently denies that husband/father was ever domineering. Somebody said that he is looking for Brownie points and doesn't even know how to get them. That is about right!

Went to see Defiance last night. I did not care for it that much but the nun LOVED it.

My winnings

In the auction last night I won the make-over package. Just what I needed. Hilarious. Well, I can go and get a face mask or something like that. I don't think there is a gift card for a face lift involved.

The bash

The factory bash was really nice yesterday. Food quality has somewhat diminished from what it was several years ago but the bash overall was great. It was good to see Rabbi Seligman. We had a good turnout. I don't know yet how much I owe for the Chinese Raffle. The nun and I went home early and just talked. I showed her the Benedictine Abbey of Melk in Austria on the internet and we made travel plans in our head. Before that happens we will need a good connections because we have to travel cheap these days. The Big Herod put in his bulletin this week a little self-serving pastor reflection. He has a way of speaking this "dual language" that reminds me of Naziism. According to his own words he is obviously the chosen one who does not know how to repay God for his gifts and considers himself a leader among his fellow priests. I guess my case was just a minor "resettlement" into the promised land. After all, what are gifts for?

Retreat

Went to a retreat today. Up north in Canada, past Rabbi Seligmann's temple. The priest came out this morning for Mass and he had pitch black hair down to his shoulder and a mustache plus a bald spot where he parted his hair. I am not sure why he wants to look like Jesus. He is well past 33 and so the only thought that came to me was 'Rasputin.' It really took some time getting used to him. Not your usual picture of a Catholic priest. Well, the nun who ran the retreat did a lot of Obama bashing. Otherwise it was OK. I have been taking it easy this week. The trip took a lot out of me. Tonight I went grocery shopping for some soul food for the weekend. It is blistering cold outside and I wore a new K-Mart jacket which has a hood and kept me warm. Tomorrow there is a bash at the factory. We are all supposed to spend some money. I have hardly any left after spending all on the trip. I have a prayer shawl from the trip for Rabbi Seligmann. He will probably recycle it. That is fine with me. He can give it to his birdie.

Would I live over there?

No. Without the millions of American dollars, this would not be a liveable country. The check points and the wall are only for people who want to fight for every inch of soil. Not me. Should we support to tourist sites? Yes, by all means. We should support these sites and visit at least once in a life time. It really changes you way of praying and thinking. The Christians, too, fight over every inch of soil over there among themselves. There are some bizzare scenes.......

The Trip

Folks - I got home at midnight but at 6 a.m. I could not sleep any more and got up and emptied the suitcase and went grocery shopping. Now it is almost 1 p.m. and I am waiting for the plumber. The sump pump stopped sumping while I was gone. No damage, however, Alleluia. The mail lady just was here and left a ton of mail. The dogs are back in the house. The computers are turned on. I am still bleary eyed but unwrapping the souvenirs little by little.
How was it? First the good news. The trip itself: fantastic. This was a Catholic pilgrimage with two Catholic priests and an American Lebanese nun and a Syrian Catholic Israeli tour guide and a something else, unknown, Catholic bus driver. We stayed at two wonderful Catholic pilgrimage houses - one in Jerusalem and one in Galilee. We traced Jesus's steps from Bethlehem to Nazareth and around Galilee to the Cenacle and across the Mt. of Olives and back to Golgotha. We carried the cross. We supported every Christian souvenir shop known to mankind. The weather was sunny and balmy except for the last day when it rained on and off. We stuck our feet into the Dead Sea. We could have swum there, it was that warm, but did not have a bathing suit. We visited the Qumran caves.We took a boat ride around the Sea of Galilee - in a Jesus boat. We visited Kapernaum and ended the official tour on Mt. Carmel with Mass. We bought wine in Cana - of course! It is cheap wine. Remember, there was plenty of it......The label "Wedding Wine from Cana" was irresistible. We had a special visit with the Franciscans in the Holy Land in Jerusalem who explained to us the political situation. Note on that subject: We felt totally safe. We repeatedly went by bus over to the West Bank and the Palestinians were nothing but friendly. We saw the Wall from the Israeli side - clean - and on the Palestinian side - full of graffiti. The Wall is an abomination. The many check points are a pain. There are Israeli and as well as Palestinian check points. However, the Gaza situation was further in the south and we never saw and troop movements or anything that would have in the remotest indicated that there was a problem in the area. Last Friday we were supposed to go to the Wailing Wall. That was cancelled. Only on Sunday did I read in a newspaper that someone had left in the hotel and that I could READ that there was stone throwing at the Wailing Wall on Friday. Yes, there was TV but it was in either Hebrew or Arabic and did not do us any good and so were the newspapers. We kept asking about Gaza and were told every day that the ground invasion was still going on but it did not affect us in the slightest. The two hotels were great. The hotel in Galilee was founded by a German! At breakfast they even had sliced ham and everything was bi-lingual: English/German. We ate a lot of chicken schnitzel everywhere and I loved it. On the bus we prayed together and our tour guide read from the Bible all the interesting parts that connected with each site. We were fed: body and soul. What was terrible? The flight itself. It was a flight from hell. Before we left here, we had to sit on the plane for three hours before we took off. We were taken off the plane for ten minutes at one point, went back on the plane, sat in the plane again, had to go back to the terminal for more fuel. There was another delay in New York, another delay in Istanbul and when we arrived in Israel we had no luggage - FOR TWO DAYS. So friends pitched in with toothbrushes and toothpaste and clothing and we washed underwear and socks at night. Of course we could find everything in the room. Once the luggage came, we could not find anything any more. There is a lesson in this somewhere. On the way back my luggage had to go twice through X-ray in Israel at the airport and then I had to take it apart. Did I have any poultry? No, I did not have any poultry. Sorry, they meant POTTERY. Yes, I had tons of pottery. Souvenirs from the Holy Land, plates, coasters, cups, bowls. All wonderfully wrapped in Palestinian newspapers because we got it in a Christian store in the West Bank. Where did I buy this pottery? How would I know when I can't read either Hebraic or Arabic. After all, the store did not say in English Sam's Pottery Store! "I bought it where our nun told us to buy the pottery." There.....end of questioning. Delta collected $175 for excess weight in New York on the way back for the suit case. I still went free of charge. The Turkish airlines were more accommodating and let it pass until New York when we had to switch to Delta for our connecting flight. Now to the most important part: We prayed for all of you everywhere. We also prayed for certain people at certain places. We drew names each day for that. That was great fun. We could go to confession. Somebody in purgatory is supposed to benefit from my plenary indulgence. It was an incredible experience to pray and to realize that we were praying at a site where Jesus prayed. We prayed for peace.

Leaving tomorrow morning

Folks I will pray for all of you and you all know who you are. I have little slips of paper with all your names on it and they will go on all of the altars but I will also take some out at each Mass and that will be YOUR special place where I will place all your intentions in the hands of the Blessed Mother. When I come back I will let you know. I have a wonderful room mate and know all of the people on this tour. Should be fun. This is a very prayerful group so if you get zapped here, you will know we are praying for you.