Nero

A historian wrote of the emperor Nero that he would either come back as a "singing frog" or a "viper." I thought immediately of the Big Herod. It could apply to him as well. Unfortunately we don't believe in reincarnation. Lord can you make ONE exception?

Travel

I am reading the travel section this morning. I can climb a tree in Virginia, glide in a glider in Pennsylvania, zip along trees suspended 180 feet in the air. Finally, I can take a gondola ride at Stratton Mountain Resort. The gondola ride is just right for me. Unfortunately, Stratton Mountain Resort is in Vermont and not just around the corner from here. So folks this is my advice: take your dogs for a walk through the neighborhood. When they pull on the leash, imagine you are in a sleigh being pulled by horses. Happy travels.

Ah so...

I had company from the old country. Cinderella came. It was fun. We went and ate crabs and saw the Julia Child movie. Second time for me but that one I could see again. The branch manager is on the front page of our unholy newspaper. Sometimes you would think it is a medical journal. They did a nice feature story about him. Went to the Church of the Crucified the other morning. The priest was from another continent and I did not understand much. He talked about "de Lawd" and the "Hooly of Hoolies" and a "couvenant." How this all fits together was a mystery because that was about all I got out of it. I understand the Hispanics better at McDonalds and that is no small feat either.

Baptismal Certificate

Wow - I got my baptismal certificate in the mail. I never had one all my life! It is in a foreign language. I was born on February 21st and baptized March 5th. The former I knew, the latter I had forgotten. Born two month early and considered a premi then. Father was in the war, oldest brother and younger brother were at home. Oldest brother drove me around in the baby carriage and because he was in uniform - 18 years older - people thought I was his.

Ring, ring....

Rabbi Seligman - I need to talk to you.

Branch office

The branch office is in one of those upheavals and giving me a headache. So much is unnecessary. Visitors are coming from overseas. I can't wait.

Strange

We have this family with six children. Number seven is on the way. At least two of the six children have been baptized in our church. The family comes to Sunday Mass and the mother regularly brings her six children to a daily Mass. Receives communion. The catch?? Found out today that she was never married in the church. So it's coming up in our chapel during the next few weeks.

The Paper

I finished the paper tonight. The nun proofed it and thought it was very good. That was the paper I had to write for the holy people in Reubenville (that's where they get the Reuben Sandwich from) where I stayed for two weeks in July for all sorts of seminars. It's due next week. Last year I got it out immediately. I actually wrote it back in July but did not like it but have to admit it isn't so bad and I can send it. Got to get the house in order because the Birdie is coming next week.

The announcer

Went to the temple yesterday but the Rabbi took the weekend off. Well, he deserved it. I told my friend, the nun, that the choir announcer makes my hair stand up. I always want to punch out his lights and that BEFORE temple service begins. "Wellllcome to THE TEMPLE," he starts. She has heard him, too, and he reminds her of some Las Vegas announcer for a show. I start laughing. Then, as we enter, we notice that there is no choir. "See," she says "God heard your prayer." It wasn't a prayer. It was a gripe. I guess God hears gripes, too. So the brown hood was in charge of temple service and it was very nice and another non-hood was there as well. Very good homily but by reading the text, too much gets lost. It is just too fast to take it all in. I wish those guys would just relax and read slower.

Hurry up

This morning I get up at 6:09 to get to the 6:45 Mass. No time to shower but I have to take the dogs out. Dog A does not want to go out. Dog B does not want to come back in. Dog C is on a leash and does not care one way or the other except he hates steps and will not come in through the back door. He does negotiate the front door steps. Finally I am off. There is a lampshade by the side of the road. I just changed my own two lampshades in the bedroom. It ain't mine but I wonder if there is an epidemic going around in the area: Y'all change lampshades today! I drive by the big shopping center. Some lights are burned out. I read N R STROM. OK. I can solve the puzzle. Do I get a prize?

The Wedding After Celebration

My neighbor's son married about a month ago. Out of town. Today the parents had an After Wedding Celebration in their backyard for the local people. They were carving up a whole roast pig when I came. Wow. This thing was big. I had a beer and some snacks. Could not bring myself to taste the pork when you could see where it came from. I promised an elderly widow to take her out. So it will be a slice of pizza for me in a little while. It comes from a round wheel of pizza - in case you wonder.

Busy Day

Drove almost into the Atlantic this morning to go to morning Mass, then back home, into France for spiritual direction, back home again. Bought two new lampshades for the bedroom. I am not thrilled with what I got but they are functional. Time to walk the doggies. I feed them at 6 p.m. but wait until 7 p.m. to walk them. I don't like hot, steamy weather. Sex yes, weather, no, and sex unlike the weather has disappeared from the face of my earthly life. So there is this constant climate (note climate, NOT climax) controlled environment at present of a wonderful balmy 70 degrees, inside and out.

Adoration

The last two or three weeks when I went to adoration in the middle of the night on Saturday, I noticed a car just sitting there with the headlights directed towards the people entering the church drive. It was sort of scary. I sent the adorant who was leaving to check on it but the car was gone. Now it turns out that this is the Big Herod's security for his new addition. You'd think someone would have told all the adorants, especially those at night, that they would not be scared!

The Obama Effect

A Portuguese water dog costs $2,000. You can have a 10 week old puppy according to the newspaper. I would have to have a hole in my head to buy a dog that expensive and I would not pay $2000 for the hole either.

Target

I ordered two chest. BOTH arrived in broken condition. The second set of chest with five drawers was not as horribly damaged as the first one. What's the sense of giving the people the opportunity to order over the internet if shipping is so bad? Hey Target people wake up. And you UPS people, do only elephants work for you?

The Here and After with the Big Herod

I am hearing more rumors that the Big Herod is ready to depart, gunning probably for the big job up in Canada. He has said so himself that he feels he his getting too old for the Church of the Six Flags. At the same time he is also telling people he is staying. It won't make much difference for me. I am happy where I am and even when he goes, he poisoned the atmosphere with the employees for me at the Church of the Six Flags. At the most I might go to a mission or something like that - if they should have a good one. As for the "Lor' told me so" people and their ministry - I'd never go back there ever again. I really outgrown them anyhow, even before I left.

My friend Len

My friend Len was Jewish. When we talked about the "here" and "after" - BEFORE he died naturally, he always maintained that he did not believe in an "after." I am sure he is mightily surprised now. At the same time, it does not seem to be sinful in his religion to not to believe in an "after." Strictly "verboten" for us Catholics. In Len's religion one is not burdened by Original Sin either. There is no Messiah that is coming to redeem. Not necessary. Len was a good Mensch. When I will see him in the "after" we will find out the rest of the story. Len may not have been burdened by many things that were not in his religion but that does not mean he had the last word.

The big package

Got a big package the other day. I had ordered a five drawer plastic cabinet from Target. Today I unpacked it. It had broken edges all over the place. What a disappointment. However, I found the receipt and got the retun UPS sticker and now it is sitting in front of my house ready to be picked up again. When I thought of how it was packed there really was not a lot of protection. Ordered a doggie gate not too long ago and most of the plastic pieces are cracked or broken, too. Hey folks, if you know shipping is so bad, why don't you package these things better? It is no fun for a customer to return something because it was damaged or cracked.