Rabbi Seligman

The Rabbi is back. He went to Mecca and ran around the Kaaba a few times and now he is fit to come back. Actually he got sick and tired of being in Switzerland and taking care of the cuckoo clock branch there. The head cuckoo was too cuckoo for him. The head cuckoo stuck his head out of his housing too many times when he should have stayed in his little house and Rabbi Seligman just could not teach him to stay inside. He tried dog treats and everything else to keep the main cuckoo confined to  his little house but nothing worked. Every single time the Rabbi passed by the cuckoo, the cuckoo came out and screamed "cuckoo." Now the rabbi is back to cheese making. Something he loves doing. He is even getting his own herd of cows. Mind you, it is only a temporary arrangement because milking cows constantly is pretty strenuous as well and the rabbi might like to milk goats in the future. Goat cheese is really the "in" gour-meeet cheese and who knows we might have a venture capitalist in the future. Venture capitalists wear a red biretta because they cause a lot of red ink everywhere. That is another story for another time.

The Doggies

Dog A was in my shirt pocket. She was sweet and quiet. Dog B was on a leash and barked at every dog and took on every dog no matter how big. Dog C, also on a leash, only got mad and growled when other dogs retaliated and came after Dog B. All dogs got blessed today. I hope they sleep well tonight. I have survived the Blessing of the Animals today. Right after that should come the Blessing of the Owners.

What I learned from the Elderly

It takes me 20 minutes to get them in and out of a car. It takes 3 seconds to lose them in the store. It takes 30 minutes to find them even if the store is 2 feet by 2 feet.
You must have a special map of all the available bathrooms with you. Your home area, your further out area, your farthest out area. You will need them all. Be prepared that a bathroom break takes just as long as lunch.

The Hamster priest

The hamster priest invited me to come back to the parish but the back door was set four inches behind the front door and I sailed right through. I was quite upset. Looks like I was invited for public consumption and as time progressed he e-mailed me and told me he was scared of all people who ever wrote to Canada because they were spies. That of course includes me. He wanted no contact except "perhaps after services." I don't need to shake his hand on the way out. I won't even go there.

Fr. Fritzie again

Fr. Fritzie colored his hair. It is now orange like his face. Don't know what could have possibly possessed him but he looks weird. The fund raiser was declined by the walking bathrobes in Canada. Fr. Fritzie was really put out. I felt sorry for him but thought the whole idea was insane right now with these dismal financial conditions. I have been sick and if you think anyone called to find out how I am you are sadly mistaken. We are a church that prays a lot, like in: Go away.....